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bertall: (pic#11323300) (Default)
Default
Keywords:
  • pic#11323300
bertall: (I'm wearing too many socks to be ok)
Keywords:
  • I'm wearing too many socks to be ok
Comment: with this.
bertall: (i already hear my dad disowning me)
Keywords:
  • i already hear my dad disowning me
bertall: (This is irresponsible on your part)
Keywords:
  • This is irresponsible on your part
Comment: leaving me alone in a bar.
bertall: (Maybe it's the vicodin but all I wanna)
Keywords:
  • Maybe it's the vicodin but all I wanna
Comment: do is hunt wild hogs
bertall: (It's official drugs can't kill me)
Keywords:
  • It's official drugs can't kill me
bertall: (How the hell do you misplace a bag)
Keywords:
  • How the hell do you misplace a bag
Comment: of tacos in a closet?
bertall: (Wait... All I had to do was ask for a)
Keywords:
  • Wait... All I had to do was ask for a
Comment: sandwich and you would have come over
bertall: (Your excessive judging is making)
Keywords:
  • Your excessive judging is making
Comment: this uncomfortable
bertall: (We pinky-swore to never fuck each)
Keywords:
  • We pinky-swore to never fuck each
Comment: other again.
bertall: (That's not "anything")
Keywords:
  • That's not "anything"
Comment: that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
bertall: (all we need is a web designer)
Keywords:
  • all we need is a web designer
Comment: and a bunch of prostitutes
bertall: (What would you have done with a 40 ft)
Keywords:
  • What would you have done with a 40 ft
Comment: neon parrot anyway?
bertall: (I accidentally had phone sex last night)
Keywords:
  • I accidentally had phone sex last night
bertall: (Hello wreck. This is your train calling.)
Keywords:
  • Hello wreck. This is your train calling.
bertall: (When my beach tent arrives I strongly)
Keywords:
  • When my beach tent arrives I strongly
Comment: suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
bertall: (You thought your socks were broken.)
Keywords:
  • You thought your socks were broken.
Comment: They were just inside out.
bertall: (I tried to help you up but you said)
Keywords:
  • I tried to help you up but you said
Comment: "let me dance it off"
bertall: (I made a Russian puke.)
Keywords:
  • I made a Russian puke.
Comment: I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
bertall: (Why am I wearing a dog collar)
Keywords:
  • Why am I wearing a dog collar
bertall: (You tried to tip the paramedic)
Keywords:
  • You tried to tip the paramedic
Comment: for finding you.
bertall: (I feel like a panda just shit rainbows)
Keywords:
  • I feel like a panda just shit rainbows
Comment: on my mind
bertall: (I don't know where I am but the food)
Keywords:
  • I don't know where I am but the food
Comment: n the fridge is awesome.
bertall: (isnt it creepy that our bodies make)
Keywords:
  • isnt it creepy that our bodies make
Comment: people
bertall: (if i can run in heels then i can drive)
Keywords:
  • if i can run in heels then i can drive
bertall: (How does one un-superglue their foot)
Keywords:
  • How does one un-superglue their foot
Comment: to the floor
bertall: (No no no. When you take one for the)
Keywords:
  • No no no. When you take one for the
Comment: team, there are no stipulations or conditions
bertall: (so just incase I die tonight I'm making)
Keywords:
  • so just incase I die tonight I'm making
Comment: a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
bertall: (I should stop using "Braveheart would)
Keywords:
  • I should stop using "Braveheart would
Comment: do it" as a basis for decision making...
bertall: (pretty sure that I broke my nose)
Keywords:
  • pretty sure that I broke my nose
Comment: during sexting. Life is grand.
bertall: (Then that is decided.)
Keywords:
  • Then that is decided.
Comment: Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
bertall: (im trying to make cookies in)
Keywords:
  • im trying to make cookies in
Comment: the george foreman
bertall: (I sat on his lap and we shared a beer.)
Keywords:
  • I sat on his lap and we shared a beer.
Comment: I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
bertall: (You were a cyclone of alcohol and)
Keywords:
  • You were a cyclone of alcohol and
Comment: bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
bertall: (Hey. Ok if I kidnap you?)
Keywords:
  • Hey. Ok if I kidnap you?
Comment: I wanna test a theory.
bertall: (pic#9894635)
Keywords:
  • pic#9894635
Comment: shoe throwing
bertall: (I just remembered that last night I ate)
Keywords:
  • I just remembered that last night I ate
Comment: nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
bertall: (I hope mine doesn't look like that.)
Keywords:
  • I hope mine doesn't look like that.
bertall: (Whoever decided to wrap my shins)
Keywords:
  • Whoever decided to wrap my shins
Comment: in duct tape owes me new leg hair.
bertall: (I have already put on my inside pants.)
Keywords:
  • I have already put on my inside pants.
bertall: (Next time someone asks you what your)
Keywords:
  • Next time someone asks you what your
Comment: spirit animal isdo you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
bertall: (can we get nightvision for the)
Keywords:
  • can we get nightvision for the
Comment: apartment?
bertall: (I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later)
Keywords:
  • I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later
Comment: and 200 miles away
bertall: (I feel like breakfast can just fly into)
Keywords:
  • I feel like breakfast can just fly into
Comment: my mouth.
bertall: (So heartbroken my rebound has)
Keywords:
  • So heartbroken my rebound has
Comment: a rebound
bertall: (But I don't consider them one night)
Keywords:
  • But I don't consider them one night
Comment: stands. They're auditions.
bertall: (Hippo gnu deer)
Keywords:
  • Hippo gnu deer
bertall: (im pretty sure i tried to attack the)
Keywords:
  • im pretty sure i tried to attack the
Comment: vending machine last night.
bertall: (It has come to my attention that I)
Keywords:
  • It has come to my attention that I
Comment: should apologize for myself and my friends.
bertall: (pic#9894649)
Keywords:
  • pic#9894649
Comment: to see you naked.

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