Iɴʙᴏx ✉ Vɪᴄᴛᴏʀʏ Rᴏᴀᴅ

[bertall]

Um... This is Bertolt, and if you're hearing this I'm probably busy. You can leave a message here or call back later if you want? ...Can I start over?

Comments

[meteorman]

Seven eyes. Put a metal plate in my head.

[bertall]

seven eyes and

ford whatttttttt

[meteorman]

I'm unsure what part of this is unclear.

[bertall]

how does anyone have seven eyes?? and who puts metal in someones head?

[meteorman]

[You know what

He's just going to. Draw some diagrams and send them over as images. The first is a fairly straightforward picture of a human skull with a metal plate in approximately the same place as his own. The second is of a woman with seven eyes, no nose and full lips. She wears a heavy cloak and a piercing expression.]

I assure you I was fully on board with having the metal plate put in. It solved certain problems I'd been dealing with up to that point.

[bertall]

Ford
most people die if they have their head messed with like that
I'd die here if I had my head messed with like that.

<sub>[Now if he could regenerate? That might be a different story. But then again, he's not sure how his body would handle having a metal plate put in like that - would his body try and regenerate around it? Would it reject the plate? The world may never know.

And then the second set comes in, and what.]</sub>

......she's not human is she

[meteorman]

She knew what she was doing. Surgery in certain universes is far advanced from what you may be used to. And I'm obviously fine now.

[For a Ford Pines value of fine.]

And oh no she absolutely is not human.

[bertall]

But it's|
I don't get it.

<sub>[What possible reason could he have to do that to himself? It's not as if it was for stopping bullets, right?

...Right?

And then a minute or two later;]</sub>

was she your girlfriend

[meteorman]

No, we never

I wasn't with her for nearly long enough to consider

That is, if things had gone differently

No.

[bertall]

_{[Ford, no.]}

she was, wasn't she??

[meteorman]

[BERTOLT HOOVER PLEASE YOU'RE KILLING A MAN]

A WOMAN DOING DANGEROUS INVASIVE SURGERY ON A MAN AND LOOKING AFTER HIM WHILE HE HEALS AND THEN GETTING HIM VERY VERY HIGH ON COSMIC SAND DOES NOT MAKE HER HIS GIRLFRIEND

[bertall]

_{[IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME.]}

and I'm dating a fifteen meter titan.

_{[THERE'S THAT SAND BIT TOO, but he'll get to that once he's done teasing.]}

[meteorman]

I was not dating her.

Also, what

[bertall]

I think you were
I won't tell anyone if that's what you're worried about.

[meteorman]

I spent

I was with her for only a few weeks, if that. By the time I was cognizant of an attraction I had no time to truly act on it.

And then I fell out of her dimension and with infinite realities to wade through there is only a microscopically small chance I would ever be able to find her again if I searched for the entire rest of my life.

It wasn't meant to happen.

[bertall]

_{[Bertolt frowns at his 'gear for a few moments, mulling over whether or not he should tell him. Ultimately, he rolls with it.]}

Reiner was only here for three days.

Three days, Ford. I'm never going to get to have any sort of relationship back home and this is the only place I'll get to have one. He vanished, but he made it back again for a couple more days.

If he can find his way back here, you can find wherever world she is again.

[meteorman]

[mmmmmmMMMMMMM

See, the real big issue is that Ford has already pushed those emotions down into a box and thrown that box into the back of his heart because he's already written them off and it's easier. This isn't the first time he's done that. Hell, Fiddleford is here now but he gave up on Fiddleford when Fiddleford fell in love with someone else and giving up on him was only the right thing to do. He... he moved on. He had to. A scan of his mind can repeat 'I miss dimension 52' as many times over as it wants to but he's moved on.

But he can recognize something heartfelt when he reads it, and he appreciates the gesture, really.]

Was it during the days when the fabric of this reality loosens? The strange weekends?

[bertall]

_{[Had they but world enough and time.]}

He still came back.

[meteorman]

I was only asking to clarify.

[It would be a lot to hope for. But then, he met a younger Stan the last time. Anything is possible.]

What is Reiner like? I don't believe he's one I've met.

[YEAAAH LETS TALK ABOUT BERT'S LOVE LIFE AND NOT GRANDPA'S]

[bertall]

If he turned up in New Bark Town, I'd have left everyone sooner than I did.

But, uh... He's probably around your height - I didn't think you'd be almost as tall as me, honestly - and he has blond hair. The last time I saw him back home he almost looked a little bit like a Machoke or Bruno, but when I saw him here he was... different. He was really tired and he lost some weight, and I think it's because of what happened back home for us. He was around four years older too, which put him at... twenty-one? Maybe? But after Marcel died, he... tried to take his role and act like a big brother to everyone. Everyone looked up to him.

_{[HIS BI-ANNUAL BOYFRIEND IS VERY SAD, FORD.]}

[meteorman]

[Ah. So Bert's also into bears. Or at the very least, he's into masculine men. This isn't a piece of information that will ever matter to Ford at all in any practical way but it adds some extra tassels to the rich tapestry that is Bertolt Hoover.]

Ah. So the reliable leader type. I can see the attraction.

[bertall]

<sub>[There is definitely A Thing there in regards to people who could knock him flat without breaking a sweat, but it's not as if he knows anything about that sort of thing.

Nobody tell him.]</sub>

He wasn't always like that. When we were kids our roles were sort of reversed and Marcel's brother used to pick on him a lot. Out of all of us in the 104th, Annie and I were the only ones who knew what he was really like.