bertall | Iɴʙᴏx ✉ Vɪᴄᴛᴏʀʏ Rᴏᴀᴅ

[Boy, that sure is. A noise. She's gonna try and tune it out, but it's kind of obnoxious. Can she just turn up the background music a little here? No? Okay.]

He's a Snorlax, but I've seen him eat weirder things than hair.

[Bert no, that's- no.]

You- you bump your fist against... mine...? Have you never fistbumped anyone? Shit, bro I have so much to teach you.

_{[Shhhh, he only just started to figure out how to do little emojis.]}

...We didn't really do that back home. A-At least I didn't see anyone doing it. I know I never did.

_{[Look at his life, Chloe. Look what he has to put up with.]}

He could try, though he might get hairballs.

I'm never gonna get used to all these different worlds and customs and shit.

[It's fine, though. It's fine.

At that, Chloe's gonna just. Take a look around the room to determine if there's enough room for Munchies. He's Big, so she's always gotta make sure.

It'll be fine, she decides. So she grabs the ball and lets her boy out.

Munchies takes a moment to look around, yawning sleepily, before his eyes fall on Bert. Oh!

He recognizes Bert. Chloe's talks about how good his food is and Munchies had the pleasure of eating the last tin of treats Bert made Chloe before she got cut off- which she's still bitter about that. That experience was out of this world for Munchies and he's

He's so happy to see Bert he's gonna plod up to him and HUG THE HECK OUT OF HIM]

Snor! Snooor snor!

[Chloe just. Well she's certainly not going to stop him, honestly.]

We were so--

_{[Bertolt trails off as she looks around, but he doesn't pay any attention to that little voice in the back of his head that tells him to watch out.

Actually, by the time he does, it's already too late - the Snorlax is out of the bag, and he's suddenly glad these hotels are built to withstand heavy Pokemon like his Aggron and Munchies. It's fine. This is Fine. Everything is fine.

And then he nearly shrieks when he's suddenly grabbed and forced into the Snorlax's chest and fur. At least his scream ends up getting muffled! ...Along with everything else.]}

--Chloe!

_{[THIS IS WORSE THAN HITCHING A RIDE ON THE ARMORED TITAN. AND ANY TITAN.]}

[It's.

It's so hard not to laugh. Holy hell. Okay she laughs, she can't help herself. That shriek was everything!

But even she can recognize that a Snorlax hug for the uninitiated is not fun- seriously, when Munchies first hugged her she wasn't sure her spine would ever recover, but now she's used to it. It's actually nice when you're feeling stiff.]

Eyyy, dude, ease up. He's new.

[Munchies knows by now that most people aren't, uh, accustomed. To this. So he reluctantly lets him down and sort of pats him sheepishly on the head in apology.]

Snor, snor. [Sorry, bud!!]

He's trying to tell you he liked your cooking. He, uh... ate my last tray, actually. The whole thing.

_{[Is his back supposed to make that popping noise? Bertolt isn't sure, but at least he knows nothing is broken. It actually feels good even though his ribs hurt like getting a Takedown from a Growlithe.

Still not broken, though!

It's not enough to stop him from gasping for air the minute he's put down though, though thanks the heavy patting to his head (that makes his hair go in five different directions), he doesn't try to move. If he moves, that might make him go in for the kill another hug.]}

I-I think he did something to my back.

_{[--Oh. Oh no, don't try to guilt him into cooking more, Chloe. He's a sucker for Pokemon--]}

D-Does he always do that? _{[Ow, okay, that one pat was a little too heavy. Give him that big ol' paw, Munchies! Be a little softer!]}

Y'know, it feels bad now but you're gonna wake up tomorrow a brand new man.

[Munchies realizes he maybe patted a little too hard and honestly looks vaguely distressed. He's trying so hard to be affectionate but everyone he touches hurts!! Being Munchies is hard. Save him. He's gonna just back up cautiously and try not to hurt anyone or anything.]

He just kind of loves everyone, it's his thing. I've stopped questioning it, for the most part. [There's a pause, in which she senses an opening.] I think he likes you more because of the whole food thing.

[smash cut to Munchies nodding aggressively in the background]

Doesn't anyone else feed him? Why me in particular?

_{[He rolls his shoulders a little, then after some hesitation and caution does Bertolt actually stand up straight. He's been slouching over for the last few weeks which hasn't been good for his back at all, and with being around six and a half feet now, it's even worse.

...It actually doesn't ache. Sure, he's still a little stiff, but it doesn't hurt.]}

--What did he do to me?

Of course, I feed him! But your shit was fire, so of course he's gonna like it more.

[Munchies is going from distressed to pleased very quickly, given that Bert seems to be feeling better so soon. Chloe keeps telling him he should try and become an actual chiropractor, he's starting to wonder if it's true.

But then he gets distracted by a nearby clump of hair, which he stares at and...

Shrugs. He's gonna pop it in his mouth. He's hongry.]

He's just really good at hugs, that's all. Also I told you he'd totally eat that hair. Ew.

_{[Even Marcel makes a confused whine, his head cocking to one side dramatically. Why are you eating that? That's his old hair!]}

...That's a little gross.

_{[Munchies, why. Love yourself.]}

W-What do you mean it was 'fire'? I let Doodle eat any burnt ones when I made them.

_[Bert.]

[If there's a Snorlax out there that can eat vines, Munchies can eat hair. Honestly it doesn't even taste bad. It's kind of warm. It's fine.]

Fire, as in.. good? Delicious? Amazeballs? Pick one.

[Soooo you. Got doodle stoned.

She's not gonna say it, but that's interesting.]

Okay so real talk. Are you for sure one-hundred percent against me smoking you up? Because I really do think you'd have fun. You know how Munchies made your back feel amazing? It's like that, but for your brain.

_{[Chloe no.]}

...You're not going to give up on that, are you?

_{[At least with getting Doodle stoned, it's easier to carry him around. And, well, he's always been a little goofy anyway, so it's not like anyone would notice.]}

No, probably not.

[She just feels like he could really benefit. It's not peer pressure if it's medicinal right?? Right. Yeah. Sure.]

What are you so afraid of?

...Is everything a valid answer?

_{[Granted he's afraid of everything half of the time anyway, but still.]}

[Just. This reaction.]

Oh my god.

_{[Chloe no.]}

L-Look, there's things I don't want people knowing about me!

_{[What if it makes him Blab??]}

You seem to be under the impression that you're gonna get loose-lipped. That's.. not how this works.

[You're thinking of booze, sweetie.

This is stressing her out, so she's gonna just. Pull the blunt out of her jacket pocket and light it up so she can smoke her damn self. If he wants to get in on it, he's more than welcome.

She takes a big ol' hit and breaths it out slowly, away from him and his delicate sensibilities.]

See? Am I- [cough cough] dead? Nope. Still kickin'.

Iɴʙᴏx ✉ Vɪᴄᴛᴏʀʏ Rᴏᴀᴅ

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