Iɴʙᴏx ✉ Vɪᴄᴛᴏʀʏ Rᴏᴀᴅ

[bertall]

Um... This is Bertolt, and if you're hearing this I'm probably busy. You can leave a message here or call back later if you want? ...Can I start over?

Comments

[hellablue]

[PUSSY

she can't but it's so hard not to

HER LIFE IS HARD]


UUGGGHHHH
please

[bertall]

why do you even want me to do this??

_{[THE PLEASE IS A NICE TOUCH THOUGH.]}

[hellablue]

because if you do you're going to understand everything
you're going to understand why you are who you are as a person.
also it's just fun.

[bertall]

i already know who i am as a person. i'm a warrior.







knowing all of that doesn't sound fun

[hellablue]

you really don't make this easy
can't u just trust me for once
well i mean technically again
ugh
u know what nvm. it's fine.
i didn't wanna meet u in real life anyway.

[reverse psychology?? sort of???

But mostly she's calling it a lost cause cuz she doesn't wanna be Peer Pressure. That's weird.]

[bertall]

<sub>[That-- Oh.

That. Stings a little more than he expected.]</sub>

because i don't want to take anything??

[hellablue]

oh my god i was joking you dork
duh i wanted to meet you geez.
i was just being salty that u obviously don't wanna meet me
i just didn't wanna be weird about it.

[bertall]

how is just asking weird??

[hellablue]

i DID ask

[bertall]

and saying you wanted to get me high! that's|

_{[Why him.]}


if anything that's being weird about it!

[hellablue]

not where i come from
cultural differences.

can this conversation stop
being weird now
because it's been weird for a while
either we meet or we don't like let's not drag it out because it's getting hella awkward.

[bertall]

you don't even know how bad that sort of thing is
trust me




if you think you can put up with an arcanine mid-shed though
fine

_{[And he tacks on his hotel address and room number. Thank god for having enough disposable income to afford Sasha her own hotel room to spare her from the Marcel Nightmare!]}

don't say i didn't warn you

> action

[hellablue]

[fuuuuckin' finally

that was emotionally exhausting for her. bert you're not easy. but you're endearing.

Anyway she isn't gonna reply, she's just gonna venture out and end up at his door a little while later.

KNOCK KNOCK BINCH]

[bertall]

<sub>[The only drawback to having his Arcanine out in the room? He tries to block the door with his entire butt.

Which is why there's suddenly a loud, protesting noooooo-like croon from the dog, and the door cracking open just enough for Bertolt to peek out from.]</sub>

M-Marcel, move-- _{[Nooooooooooooooo-noooo-no.]} J-Just come in, a-and close the door before he tries to open it himself--!

<sub>[And hey, he totally tried to warn her! Because he may or may not have a black trash bag full of big clumps of orange fur in the corner of the room.

And a few tufts sticking to his hair. Why does he have so many dogs like this again?]</sub>

[hellablue]

[Chloe's slips through the door without arguing, realing it's taking a great effort to be able to let her in. She can respect that. Once she's in, she really does have to marvel at the hair.]

Oh, yikes. You weren't kidding, dude.

[That's. Yep, that's some hair.]

You want me to see if Munchies'll eat it for you? He probably would. [While she speaks, she casually holds a hand up for a fistbump. It's their first meet up, it's the obligatory way to greet somebody.]

[bertall]

<sub>[Marcel lets out another long noooooo, even as he plops his butt down to scratch at his chin. Then it just sounds he's on a massage chair. No-o-o-o-o-o-o--

...Gods, he hopes none of his other Pokemon try to talk like this. At least Marcel only knows the one word, right?]</sub>

It, uh... I-It's getting warmer out, so all of his winter fur...

<sub>[It has to go somewhere.

Her offered fist gets a slightly bewildered look though, and Bertolt cocks his head. What-- What is she doing?]</sub>

Uh... Is he a Trubbish? I-I know they can eat pretty much anything. _{[What does he do here? Does he sort of. Cover her fist with his hand?]} Uh... What're you doing?

[hellablue]

[Boy, that sure is. A noise. She's gonna try and tune it out, but it's kind of obnoxious. Can she just turn up the background music a little here? No? Okay.]

He's a Snorlax, but I've seen him eat weirder things than hair.

[Bert no, that's- no.]

You- you bump your fist against... mine...? Have you never fistbumped anyone? Shit, bro I have so much to teach you.

[bertall]

_{[Shhhh, he only just started to figure out how to do little emojis.]}

...We didn't really do that back home. A-At least I didn't see anyone doing it. I know I never did.

_{[Look at his life, Chloe. Look what he has to put up with.]}

He could try, though he might get hairballs.

[hellablue]

I'm never gonna get used to all these different worlds and customs and shit.

[It's fine, though. It's fine.

At that, Chloe's gonna just. Take a look around the room to determine if there's enough room for Munchies. He's Big, so she's always gotta make sure.

It'll be fine, she decides. So she grabs the ball and lets her boy out.

Munchies takes a moment to look around, yawning sleepily, before his eyes fall on Bert. Oh!

He recognizes Bert. Chloe's talks about how good his food is and Munchies had the pleasure of eating the last tin of treats Bert made Chloe before she got cut off- which she's still bitter about that. That experience was out of this world for Munchies and he's

He's so happy to see Bert he's gonna plod up to him and HUG THE HECK OUT OF HIM]

Snor! Snooor snor!

[Chloe just. Well she's certainly not going to stop him, honestly.]

[bertall]

We were so--

<sub>[Bertolt trails off as she looks around, but he doesn't pay any attention to that little voice in the back of his head that tells him to watch out.

Actually, by the time he does, it's already too late - the Snorlax is out of the bag, and he's suddenly glad these hotels are built to withstand heavy Pokemon like his Aggron and Munchies. It's fine. This is Fine. Everything is fine.




And then he nearly shrieks when he's suddenly grabbed and forced into the Snorlax's chest and fur. At least his scream ends up getting muffled! ...Along with everything else.]</sub>

--Chloe!

_{[THIS IS WORSE THAN HITCHING A RIDE ON THE ARMORED TITAN. AND ANY TITAN.]}

[hellablue]

[It's.

It's so hard not to laugh. Holy hell. Okay she laughs, she can't help herself. That shriek was everything!

But even she can recognize that a Snorlax hug for the uninitiated is not fun- seriously, when Munchies first hugged her she wasn't sure her spine would ever recover, but now she's used to it. It's actually nice when you're feeling stiff.]

Eyyy, dude, ease up. He's new.

[Munchies knows by now that most people aren't, uh, accustomed. To this. So he reluctantly lets him down and sort of pats him sheepishly on the head in apology.]

Snor, snor. [Sorry, bud!!]

He's trying to tell you he liked your cooking. He, uh... ate my last tray, actually. The whole thing.

[bertall]

<sub>[Is his back supposed to make that popping noise? Bertolt isn't sure, but at least he knows nothing is broken. It actually feels good even though his ribs hurt like getting a Takedown from a Growlithe.

Still not broken, though!

It's not enough to stop him from gasping for air the minute he's put down though, though thanks the heavy patting to his head (that makes his hair go in five different directions), he doesn't try to move. If he moves, that might make him go in for the kill another hug.]</sub>

I-I think he did something to my back.

_{[--Oh. Oh no, don't try to guilt him into cooking more, Chloe. He's a sucker for Pokemon--]}

D-Does he always do that? _{[Ow, okay, that one pat was a little too heavy. Give him that big ol' paw, Munchies! Be a little softer!]}

[hellablue]

Y'know, it feels bad now but you're gonna wake up tomorrow a brand new man.

[Munchies realizes he maybe patted a little too hard and honestly looks vaguely distressed. He's trying so hard to be affectionate but everyone he touches hurts!! Being Munchies is hard. Save him. He's gonna just back up cautiously and try not to hurt anyone or anything.]

He just kind of loves everyone, it's his thing. I've stopped questioning it, for the most part. [There's a pause, in which she senses an opening.] I think he likes you more because of the whole food thing.

[smash cut to Munchies nodding aggressively in the background]

[bertall]

Doesn't anyone else feed him? Why me in particular?

<sub>[He rolls his shoulders a little, then after some hesitation and caution does Bertolt actually stand up straight. He's been slouching over for the last few weeks which hasn't been good for his back at all, and with being around six and a half feet now, it's even worse.

...It actually doesn't ache. Sure, he's still a little stiff, but it doesn't hurt.]</sub>

--What did he do to me?

[hellablue]

Of course, I feed him! But your shit was fire, so of course he's gonna like it more.

[Munchies is going from distressed to pleased very quickly, given that Bert seems to be feeling better so soon. Chloe keeps telling him he should try and become an actual chiropractor, he's starting to wonder if it's true.

But then he gets distracted by a nearby clump of hair, which he stares at and...

Shrugs. He's gonna pop it in his mouth. He's hongry.]

He's just really good at hugs, that's all. Also I told you he'd totally eat that hair. Ew.