bertall | Iɴʙᴏx ✉ Vɪᴄᴛᴏʀʏ Rᴏᴀᴅ

[ There's the confirmation, just in case. ]

It's Annie. Annie Leonhart.

Whannhkl

_[Whoops.]

Sorry|
You're|

What.

That's how I feel about all this too.

Why didn't you say so sooner?

_{[GRANTED he could be asking himself that too, but this is. Wow.]}

I had no idea!

Introducing myself by my full name didn't strike me as the best idea when I woke up in a panic in a foreign nation.

But|

_{[No, she has a point. A very good point.]}

My name didn't strike you as odd?

I nearly assaulted a woman named Mom sometime this morning before getting a backpack with supplies and a ball containing a living creature thrown at me and told to hit the road.

There have been much stranger things happening the last however many hours than having someone in a new place happen to have your name. Particularly when they've been here for a while, and until very recently, I didn't know that was possible.

I suppose I should've given my full name. I didn't want to assume myself, since I've met a few people with your name here but that's the only thing they have in common.

I wasn't sure when I saw the video either - I saw your hair and part of me wanted to ask, but I figured a lot of people have blond hair too.

What sort of strange things, anyway? Beyond uh|
Beyond the obvious ones.

You mean they don't all also happen to come from a shitty world and have great skill in an all but useless artform? Good for them.

That aside, you don't happen to know if any stores carry hairbands or scrap fabric in Cherrygrove, do you?

[ His mentioning her hair puts her in mind of this again, as her hairties are all a world away, and she's been dealing with it being all annoyingly in her face--more similar to what her Titan form was like. She doesn't enjoy the sensation of hair blocking her vision, particularly when she's been having to fight pokemon all day. ]

I don't know that a detailed list helps. What point in time are you from on our world?

[ It's part of an answer to his question, though she isn't making it explicit. ]

A few of them play tennis. My Arcanine may or may not have stolen a few of their balls and turned them into fireballs. Cherrygrove has plenty as far as hairties go, including some nice pins.

_{[The question of his timeline makes his stomach twist into a knot, and Bertolt stares at his Pokegear for a good two, almost three minutes as he tries to think of a good way to explain it.

It's not easy.

He could be blunt about it, but it's also something that he hasn't fully told anyone before. Sure, he's vaguely told people what happened, but not the full details.]}

The last time I saw you was before the 57th expedition, and I haven't heard anything from you since. I know why though. At least I do now. I didn't before, so|

I suppose the future could count as a good answer.

Tennis?

[ Time to go join the skirt wearing sporty girl revolution of the Pokeverse. Or not. Still, okay, small reasons to look forward to Cherrygrove beyond it being "next" as far as towns to come across. The one she'd woken up in counted as more of a village, if that, in her mind. ]

It was a small group of anyone you knew involved with what happened to me. I figured it'd get back around eventually, in some form or another. I'm probably considered dead on official records.

[ Killed by the female titan. There's more than a few names that are on that list from inside Wall Sina, and more than a few that are there courtesy of Eren, too, she suspects. Collateral damage did not seem to be something he was concerned with at the time.

She hesitates to ask about the future. Hell, does she fully want to know? No, not really. And he's not saying, "we've succeeded." He's not saying anything at all beyond he's from the future, as far as her waking mind would recognise. ]

How bad is it?

It's a sport. They hit a little ball back and forth over a net. You'll probably see it on magazines sooner or later.

_{[Going over sports that they didn't have back in Marley would be a welcome distraction, but Bertolt slots it away for later. If he lets himself get sidetracked now, well...]}

It's... It got bad. I'm not sure where to start.

_{[Should he start with Utgard? With Zeke's sudden appearance? Or should he skip straight to the moment he and Reiner screwed up? Bertolt knows it's going to end in the same place regardless, but this was important.]}

There's something I need to know first though. You're not actually dead, are you?

Right. At least I'll know what to call it.

[ When she sees it wherever it is. As for his confirmation (of it being bad) and his question in turn...

It's too immediate, and numbing, and distressing while freeing at the same time. She'd failed so badly she'd had to rely on such a total freeze to keep her tongue silent. She folds her arms across her for a minute, needing the time to make a sensible answer.

It's not like death isn't always an option. She's in a bit of a suspended place, and could not honestly say she knows when she's from as a consequence, or what, if anything, has happened to her. ]

I don't know. All I can say is the last thing I remember was encasing myself in crystal. There's nothing to remember after that. If they managed to get through it, they hadn't managed to wake me up to try and extract information. If they managed to kill me, I wouldn't know.

So you're|

Okay.

That's...

_{[It's not good, but it's not bad. Bertolt breathes deep and exhales slowly through his nose as he re-reads the message once, twice, and a third time and picks at a coffee stain on the table inside of the coffee shop. He's never been in something like that himself (though now part of him wonders if it may have saved him), but at the very least he knows it's strong.

Zeke was right. Annie knew how to take care of herself.]}

I was told you were being tortured. But if you're in crystal, then I think Reiner and the others could rescue you. _{[Foolishly, he didn't think to ask the last time he saw him here.]} They'll figure something out to get you home. They have to.

[ Yes, in theory. But she reads what he writes, and she frowns, in part because it's not exactly community, and "rescuing" her means she also faces the consequences of failing. Which might not be a death sentence, depending. Sooner or later it always was.

It's what he doesn't say that pulls at her attention. It's a simple omission, but from someone who managed to keep his mind intact where Reiner had not, it isn't simple. ]

But not you.

[ Which is to point out what he said: it's not a condemnation. I think Reiner and the others could rescue you. ]

No.

_{[It's a simple admission and he hates how casual it comes across.]}

I'll try to fill you in as best as I can. A few days after the expedition, Reiner, myself and a few others were sent to one of the smaller bases near Wall Rose under the guise of civilians. They ordered us out after titans were spotted and we all thought Rose was broken.

_{[But neither he nor Reiner had a hand in that possible scenario - how could they?]}

We split off to check on the nearby villages until night and we ended up having to take shelter in these old ruins called Utgard. Connie's village was gone except for a titan sitting in his house, but it couldn't move. We ended up seeing someone from the top of the tower though, but I'm not sure if he even noticed us up there. Granted we didn't have a good chance to see if he even looked back because titans started showing up around us.

It was Zeke, Annie.

Edited 2018-09-21 04:35 (UTC)

[ After titans were spotted and we all thought Rose was broken. [...] except for a titan sitting in his house. No breach, but Zeke, he never needed that. Only the injections of his spinal fluid and his call.

Zeke. Captain of the Warriors, there now? It'd been the three of them for years, when it should have been four, but the three of them nonetheless. Years of scraping for information and pulling it out of everywhere she could find it and then enrolling in the army after vetoing other ideas, training all over again except in different regulation clothes. One military or another, and everyone full of the same bullshit. She'd never ended up believing otherwise.

Why was Zeke there? Were the rest there too? It made no sense for him to have come over unless things had changed back home so significantly, and that was... before the confrontation within Wall Sina. He'd been moving when they'd been learning who the coordinate was, but he couldn't have known himself, could he, so why then? Why now?

She wants to believe that meant they were that close to getting to go home. Her shoulders hunch in, and she stares at the No that marks Bertolt as dead, and knows that wasn't quite true. Written like this, it must be easier to admit. Written like this, it's almost easier to ask. ]

Why was Zeke there?

[ No fanaticism from her, no rejoicing. Zeke wasn't good news in her opinion, even if he was their leader, and perhaps because he was. He was too important to leave home for the same shores they were on, wasn't he? Was the world so peaceful in that moment, or was razing paradise suddenly that necessary, that the long game they'd been sent in on couldn't play out to its end?

(Yet she failed, and it sounds like the story she has yet to be told contains more failures, perhaps even ones that weren't theirs to own.) ]

Bertolt, do they know how to pass on a warrior to another carrier? None of this blessings or chosen one bullshit, do they know?

[ Had he died cleanly? Or had he died like they were all fated to die from the moment they were injected, crushed in the jaws of the titan who would inherit their abilities in a sick cycle they were heroic for being part of?

She's an insensitive asshole, and she knows it, and she's sick to her stomach and clutching the gear so tight that her pokemon companion is looking at her in open concern. ]

To retake the coordinate. We figured out what it was after Utgard. Reiner tried to get Eren to come back with us and we were forced to act. We tried to take him by force and we probably would've made it, but|

They said you were being tortured like I said, and I lost my temper.

_{[Is he still upset with himself over it? A little, but it's a natural response to hearing that sort of thing about a friend from a former one.

Bertolt brings his hand up to his mouth and lightly bites at the joint of his index finger, his brows tight. He tries to distract himself from the way the hand holding the gear trembles, from the way his heart feels like it's going to jackhammer out of his chest and the way his stomach twists into an impossible knot.

It wasn't a heroic death by a country mile, and Bertolt had no one else but himself to blame for it. He was careless and let the power of a god go straight to his head.]}

I don't know how they did. I'm not sure if I want to know.

_{[His own memories of that moment were fuzzy, save for the part he was fully conscious for. His body kept fighting and every so often he'd come to just long enough to hear them arguing among themselves, but that was it. He'd swear he even heard Zeke's voice at one point expressing... Regret? Maybe? It wasn't something he had a chance to think about.]}

Nobody here knows how it happened. Not entirely. They don't know who I really am, but I couldn't keep silent about|
You know.

_{[It's hard to stay quiet about being dead, especially when it comes to questions about what happened in their world.]}

[ They'd run away from Marcel dying. It hadn't sat well for any of them, but while Reiner ran first, Annie and Bertolt had still followed. It was the first time she'd wanted to turn in and give up and leave. Not the last, but certainly the first time she'd said any of it out loud, before they'd reached the first of the walls of sleeping giants.

Being taunted by the capture of a comrade getting under his skin doesn't actually surprise her. Nor can she say, how stupid! Because what record does she have to go by? No, she's been as stupid in her own ways, and it's a courtesy she could afford him not to say it without being honest herself. (And she assumes, doesn't she, that's why, without knowing the full story; catches herself at it and tells herself not to make those leaps in logic. Backs up, reads what he said again, and closes her eyes.)

He hasn't said how he died. Only that they almost made it with Eren, so... ]

Who told you I was being tortured?

[ Someone who had to have seemed like they would know. Someone from the operation to capture her? There were a number of those from the Scouting Corps who'd been involved. Eren was presumably incapacitated enough for them to have carried off, so it wasn't him, but that left more than a few. Mikasa seemed unlikely as well. She took action, and words followed. When it came to Eren, she simply moved. ]

I'm sorry.

[ It's inadequate and also true. Sorry, because yes, they were all going to die, all had a time limit on their lives, but his had been cut even shorter, and for what? For anything? For the same bullshit lies that kept them fighting against their own people, for the pride of a country that used them as fodder in their grasping, greedy wars? Where does one people's monstrousity end, and another's begin?

They're all monsters, really. Some were just made more visible than others. It's frustrating, and it makes her angry, and it makes her sad. With no one there to see except the Absol who has no choice, she can turn and viciously kick a fallen tree, feeling the ache of it travel up her leg, and pretend for a moment the tears stinging her eyes are from that unworthy pain rather than the simplistic cruelty of reality back home. ]

I'm sorry.

_{[Mikasa was a terrifying force to be reckoned with - both her and Levi, as Zeke had found out the hard way. Maybe if Levi hadn't arrived when he did, they wouldn't have stolen the Colossal Titan from Bertolt.

Maybe.

There's no point in thinking about it now.]}

Armin did. We were trying to run with titans on top of us. I left myself open and Erwin swept in and cut Eren free when I snapped, all while Reiner was trying to protect me in his titan. We couldn't get him back because, well... We found out that he had the coordinate on top of everything else.

_{[Bertolt isn't sure if they'll get it back at this rate - Marley was down two warriors, and with the older Warriors approaching the end of their term it was going to be risky. He's sure they've got successors lined up already, but Bertolt never thought to ask, nor did he think it appropriate to ask the last time he saw Reiner in this world. There was too much that had gone unsaid the first time, and the second? He wanted to be selfish and enjoy what little peace he could have with Reiner while he could.]}

I should be the one apologizing though, Annie. It's|

I didn't stick to the plan we made with Zeke he found us after we escaped the first time.

_{[But if he had stuck to it, then Reiner may have been the one who died instead. That wasn't something he could allow to happen, especially by his own hand. If he had shifted above the city, then he would've been blown away with the rest of it.]}

[ She pours over this, feeling shock go through her system. Not at Armin being the one, but at the confirmation that Eren, of all people Eren, had the coordinate. As a jest, yes, maybe, maybe she'd wondered, because of how impossible it seemed for him to have been what he was in the first place, but...

What the hell?! ]

Ah, of course it was Armin. Who else would it be to know you well enough to guess what you'd react to, and in what way.

[ She's long past beginning to suspect that's where Armin's knack for thinking comes in, guessing at assumptions and taking leaps in logic to try and weaken opponents with words... or get his way with them, at least. Looks like he's two for two, between her and Bertolt. Two vastly different ways of manipulating two different people, and she can't say how much of what he said was truth.

What he told Bertolt was a bald faced lie. It might have been... probably was the same with her. Oh, beyond what she knew he lied about, but the whole idea of being a good person, for anything, that too. It hurt, like taking away some small part of herself she'd had a choice to give and devaluing it back to the base nothing she was.

She pushes that away. No point lingering on it, anyway, and she'd deal with Armin in whatever way necessary for keeping him at bay tomorrow. ]

But Eren, the coordinate? When the hell did that happen? How the hell did that happen?

As for the rest, why did you deviate?

[ There's a why, of course. Blanket apologies are worthless, meaningless. Admit to why you did it, she would have screamed at eleven, twelve. Is it ironic that her temper was worse when she was younger, that it had mellowed somewhat as she aged? Years later, she might hold off on the screaming for only a swift kick instead.

See. Mellowed. ]

Edited 2018-09-22 01:56 (UTC)

He tried to get me with it a second time, too.

_{[Not that Bertolt could fault him for trying. It doesn't make it any less terrifying though.]}

I don't know how it happened, or when. We didn't have a chance to think about it.

As to why I did it, Reiner was in trouble. I was supposed to wait for his signal from Shiganshina, and then I was supposed to detonate above the city. We got the signal and Zeke threw me in - I was in a barrel for this - but I saw him as I was flying over and he wasn't in a good place.

He wasn't moving, and when I broke out to check on him, I thought he was dead. They used something on him and he was hanging out of the nape of his titan with half of his head missing. I don't know what it was.

_{[He died because he tried to save Reiner's life, but part of him can rest knowing that he succeeded in that endeavor at the very least.]}

I was able to transform after I made sure he was okay, but it didn't have the same effect.

Armin can be a frightening person.

[ She's not asking. It's her opinion, and so she's telling. All three of those friends, Armin and Eren and Mikasa, can be frightening people. Just like how all three Titan Shifters can be frightening people in their own right.

She reads the rest, closing her eyes and leaning back against the tree behind her. It's always a matter of which sacrifices people are willing to make. Marcel to save Reiner once; Bertolt to save him later. The circumstances aren't the same, but she has to wonder what that's done to Reiner, who has never been good at keeping all of himself on track, or all of himself even collected enough to be of one mind. ]

You couldn't blow everything away, and so they had a chance to find a work around.

[ It was a mistake, and it was his to make. She won't make a judgment on that, anymore than she could really make one on Marcel for taking steps to push Reiner out of the way. It was what came after that became the bigger issue. ]

Yeah.

_{[He rubs at his cheek after a few moments, and his hand instinctively goes to the nape of his neck and rests there. That memory was going to be fresh in his mind for some time.]}

He let himself get burnt alive from my titan, too. He hooked himself to my face and he ended up falling to the rooftops below - I don't know how, but he survived.

_{[They've all survived worse, but they weren't exactly normal.]}

Almost everyone else that was in town was blown away.

[ ... Annie shudders, all too able to imagine how horrifying that is from both sides. Burning alive was apparently Armin's entire self sacrificial plan. He survived, temporarily, and was going to...

... was going to...

She's both weirdly angry and sanely terrified. People that devoted to a cause continue to piss her off even when she's admiring of what they can manage in single-minded focus, but that's exactly what gets them killed.

And she can't doubt that for Bertolt and Armin alike, part of it was in wanting to make sure their friends survived. "Almost everyone else that was in town was blown away." That wasn't everyone, and if there's at least two people damn hard to kill, it'd be Eren and Mikasa, and if there's anyone Armin is always fighting to make sure survives, it's Eren.

Is this a guy thing. Are all of them idiots.

... The whole world is filled with idiots, and she can't tell if that makes her want to laugh without hope, or cry because it's something she can't change, because what follows is: ]

Was it him?

[ If he didn't die before... and Bertolt did, but not... she doesn't know who else was out there, surviving, but...

But oh, she can still hope, in some part of her, that she's wrong. ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject